Couples and Relationship Work

"Before working with Jane Cohen, I was considering divorce or severing my marriage. I was really at wits end, and not sure what I could do. I was unable to express myself in a positive manner. I wasn't clear on what I wanted. I did not value myself. Working with Jane gave me back my power (to be me) without destroying my marriage. We worked through many limiting decisions which were holding me back. I will name a few of the limiting decisions (or deeply ingrained beliefs set in place for years) that we were able to clear, and which greatly impacted my ability to relate to my husband in a positive way. They were: "Women are less powerful than men", "Men are irresponsible and will ruin everything if allowed", "Sexual pleasure is bad", "Women are not valuable and only have value through their man."

To work with Jane was a true gift. I am thankful I found Jane Cohen when I did, as I am living my life from a place of joy, and truly from the heart. I am content to be me..."(C.G. Encinitas, CA)

"I was having relationship problems quite a few years ago and tired of going in
circles. This led me on a search for understanding and relief from intense
frustration. I knew solutions were available, just unable to figure it out by myself.
Friends & family are inadequate for truly complex issues. You need an
independent outsider that is skilled and totally objective.

After many different therapists I found a terrific lady counselor in San Diego. Jane
has the right 'core' personality and is very intuitive about fundamental relationship
problems. Her methods are different from traditional counselors yet very effective.
Each session brings immediate results. It's such a relief and you're all calmed
down."  (Jim Billings, San Diego, CA)

I went to Jane for a while a few years ago and she did wonders for me in terms of how I have relationships now.  I used to have a lot of difficulties in relationships (I'll spare you the details) and now I'm in a great relationship.  I think a lot of my being able to be in a great relationship now is because of the work I did with her and clearing beliefs that I had based on my past.  She's very good at clearing that sort of thing (things from the past) and letting you live with a new, healthier kind of freedom."  (M.C. San Diego, CA)

"Jane,

 Earlier today I enjoyed a birthday dinner with (friend). I was wondering if any triggers might surface. Well guess what - zip, zero. At least during this two hour visit everything was fine. And I believe it will carry on as a result of our work.

I noticed that he made statements and comments that previously set me off.  When observing and interacting with others, I have a new overall awareness of myself that is different than before.  It's really quite pleasant and peaceful.

Thanks,"

(J.B., San Diego, CA)

" Largely in credit to you, Jane, I'm feeling this renewal. I'm feeling this deep level of contentment that's in me. It's reflected in us, too, my relationship with K.J. [her partner]. Things that would have in the past got me all ruffled and bent out of shape, and turned into an agitated scene is now just looking like another possibility for growth. And I'm really noticing when we're able to do that and actually disagree with each other in a way that doesn't upset each other. We've in the past have had so many disagreements that have turned into just really feeling hurt. It had so much more of my personal value attached to it. And now I feel a sense of personal value that is very confident and very light. There's a lot of lightness." (S.M., Carlsbad, CA)

"We're both moving in the space where we're able to have our discussions, without having them turn into ugliness. Before there was just almost waiting for the spots, so we can get angry about it, and have an argument about it, and me just knowing I'm going to be misunderstood, and not agreed with on it. And there's something going on there now, where we're talking and I'll say, at least as far as I'm concerned, I'll say the exact same thing I used to say, and S.M [his partner] will go, "Oh, yeah, I got it." And I'm like, "What a relief! I don't have to go over that one again." It's either the way I'm saying it or the way she's hearing it. Whatever it is it's working nicely. It's probably a little bit of both." (K.J., Carlsbad, CA) "And we give you credit every time. We thank you, Jane, for helping us." (S.M., Carlsbad, CA)

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Facilitated Group Experiences

(Through the years Jane has facilitated many kinds of groups and group experiences: Women's Group, Men/Women's Group, "Getting to What Matters" … and currently, "Shifting into Your New Consciousness.")

"This is a very special group. I don't know of any comparable group in either Orange County or LA County. I drive a considerable distance to participate. Openness, depth, honesty, gender revelation. It is focused on the here-and-now, and Jane is doing it with the live material, and she's expanding it out to include the dynamics of relationships within the group and what's going on between them. It is literally living itself out, within the group." (R.L., Long Beach, CA)

"Saturday was amazing to me, just the courage all of you guys and me had to just really sift through the b-s and get it out there. It felt like everybody when they were in their thing, were deeply in it. Everybody was really being fully themselves in that moment. And that's pretty rare experience in talking about heavy things and things that are not as comfortable. And I noticed when I left that I was so pleased that, I could feel [my husband] really letting things in. And we just really had an interesting and great weekend, just hanging out, at different times talking about the group, and talking about lots of things. And the assessment of, 'What are we getting from the group?' And then realizing we're getting a lot." (M.C., San Diego)

"One thing about Jane is she really is a visionary, and she's really able to cut through a lot of things that we cannot see. We're being a part of something that's bigger than us. It's quite astounding what's going on here. There's something very special and unusual about it. Jane brings the gift of being a clear mirror for others, and that triggers the process. With Jane's help the group is creating a group of clear mirrors. Each person in the group has gone through significant life changes. The fundamental wound is becoming visible; the group is healing it. Because of the way it's structured, there's an immediate integration.

One person goes through it, and a certain trust is built. And then the next person goes through it, and more trust is built. The level of trust in the group has gone through the roof. As significant changes are observed in one, the other person sees it. It's like a group thing, all coming to a place of truth and reality, coming out of our stories.

We're starting to transcend our limitations and old values. It's giving us a new experience, a direct and lasting experience of being real. We're getting a grasp on breaking through the illusions we've been living in." (John Kingsmill, Encinitas, CA)

"When Jane says this is a transformational group, that's for real. It really is. Jane has an amazing gift of being able to cut through the b-s to get to the heart of it. And she can do it in a pretty loving way, without sacrificing the truth of it. She's gentle and she's kind, but she's not afraid to just go for it and bring up something that's potentially painful and very limiting about something. I've had some amazing breakthroughs in this group. And thanks goes to everyone for that, including myself for being willing to go for it. We're in good hands." (O.L., Aliso Viejo)

"You've got a kind of x-ray vision, and so there's that x-ray vision that exposes what otherwise most people don't see." (Jenny Schipper, Encinitas, CA)

"I want to share with you all my gratitude for providing the honest reflections that allowed me to really see a full range of truth, instead of just my story. Last Tuesday night's group helped birth the truth, out-of-the-box and into authentic reality. Wow! What a difference it's made! My defenses have come down. My heart feels clearer, like it has released several layers of protective walls; my whole being is agile and free. My heart feels lighter, and full of love, my energy is effulgent and people notice. Even my housemate and I are communicating in a way that is breakthrough and exceptionally brilliant for us. The client I saw on Wednesday got blasted with the energy I was exuding. He said to me, "I have never seen an aura before, but right now I'm seeing a glow all around you". My experience offered a profound teaching for him. Needless to say, it was a fabulous session!" (S.M, Carlsbad)

"Jane is incisive like a surgeon in terms of seeing into people's defense systems, because what matters most to her is realness, like really who's there, who's really there. And there's all of these trappings that we all have, grew up with and in society. So people rarely show very much of who they are. Jane is incredible at opening that up. I had the feeling that we all get naked here, in a real emotional and psychological way." (Jenny Schipper, Encinitas)

"I'd feel that red hot feeling of like, "Oh you touched a really bad place that burns. And this is where the group helped, because I went around and asked, "Do you see that, do you see that?" And people said, 'Uh, yeah, there's something there I see.' And then I started to really experience another truth. And it was able to crack open my reality that I had been locked into for my whole life, I guess, because that's what a defense system is. And it's the one thing you never want to see, and nobody can break into it hardly, except "Jane Wayne" here. I've never seen anybody really be able to break into it. So therapy, you go and you go and you go on all of these oblique angles, kind of trying to crack it open. And you may get places, but Jane goes like head-on. It goes right through it. You get incredible clarity, and it starts to open up the thing that's been your jailer, that you don't want to see. And then I started to feel this sense of liberation.

It's been my way of being in the world that I've protected, and it's been like, "This is me and this is who I am. This is my feelings, and how dare you threaten that. I can't do anything different." I felt that Jane really caught both of it, both sides [mine and my husband's]. And I really got a mirror of what it is, of how I keep people away from me, when I most want to be a part of things. So I'm really grateful, Jane.

It feels like it's an amazing human laboratory that we create here. I think people ache for this on some deep core level. It's where we really find what is, versus what's a fantasy, what isn't." (Jenny Schipper, Encinitas,CA)

"The effect of this open communication in a safe environment brings each person to a new level of awareness about ourselves. In this type of safe group setting objective, constructive criticism feels ok. We discover defense mechanisms that are faulty and inhibit progress.

Eliminating the negativity in my life to become neutrally balanced has been a tremendous mental relief. Instead of looking for and expecting bad things to happen, that stinky attitude just has gone away. I've found that I smile again, and talk directly to people. No matter what the situation, I find myself in a neutrally balanced frame of mind - which effects every interaction I have with people. I'm now relating from a different place. These things just happened to me as I evolved through this group process.  This does require courage and a willingness to expose oneself. Anyone who goes through this process will look back and see it as truly a life changing experience, for the better.

Sometimes the group interaction is just enough to ‘loosen-up’ an unconscious trouble spot. That is when Jane’s one-on-one individual sessions at a deeper level becomes highly effective. The combination of group and individual experiences with Jane is an active, powerful evolution." (Jered, San Diego, CA - about the "Shifting into Your New Consciousness" group experience.)

"I've been thinking about this group a lot, and I'm interested in the diversity of it. One of the strengths of this group is that we have different people who come at sexuality from different perspectives, with different sexual experiences and sexual values. And who also come at relationships from different perspectives, because some of us have been married a long time, some of us just got married, and some of us are not married at all, and we have different ideas about marriages. I think all of that is very exciting. And it's where the juice is here, because we're getting all of these angles and these perspectives, and they're rubbing against each other. And it makes it very present for me." (M.F., San Diego)

"Here's a group of people who have made a decision to listen to each other, like friends, but on a deeper level." (K.J.) " Like on the TV show, 'Cheers,' where everyone knows you name. We know each other's names, but we also, increasingly know who each other is. And that becomes deeper as we really are experiencing each other." (L.R, Long Beach.)

"I've become more self-aware and more comfortable with being seen, because of the demonstrated care and safety and the clearness of the communication. This creates greater ease and willingness to further self-reveal.

One of the benefits I get is the reflection of heart for me. The degree of honesty that I've received. I really appreciate honest reflection that is articulated in a way that is not blaming. There is the sense of people wanting to give this information, so that I have an opportunity to see myself authentically. This reflection provides a medium, a way of me knowing, through these reflective comments, how other people experience me, that I don't have a fricking clue that I am doing." (H.M., Carlsbad, CA)

"My vulnerability practiced in the group empowered me, and I found myself operating with a more open attitude and intention in my relationships with my wife, business, and friends." (John Kingsmill, Encinitas, CA)

"I experienced new points of connection and love with my husband. Cutting edge facilitation, individual leaps in experiential understanding." (Jenny Schipper, Encinitas, CA)

"When I think of world peace, what happens when you have a group of people and you start having heart connection, judgments disintegrate, because you're a human being and I love you so much. So everything starts to melt, like this group. What I feel is a melting occurring. When I'm in love, all there is is love, which is exactly what you're about, Jane. You say, 'All there is is love, and life is meant to work.' That's my experience in this moment of the beauty of 'OK, world peace is possible, and we can get along with our neighbors, and we can get along with people that we have these judgments about,' which is so touching to me. Like when we met each other, we had judgments, but I think there's just love here. There always has been, but it's [the group] opened it up." (H.S., Laguna Niguel, CA)

" The workshop has made a big difference in my life, and I am expecting more to come as the days pass.  There are two weeks left...and I would sure like to continue, as the process of meeting me has been so phenomenal!  I've only just begun!"

(This next is from the same person, but later after she finished an 8-week segment.) "Since I have taken this workshop, I have noticed real changes in my "being," even after all the work I have done previously, and I am looking forward to much acceleration in the time to come.. On Saturday, Cynthia remarked, 'what have you done to yourself?  I have never seen you looking better.'  And you know what, I felt that way...in fact, I actually felt PRETTY!    And then on Saturday, with Tom, I saw the changes in my openness and confidence. I have had years of personal growth trainings and this is one of the most powerful."  (D.G., San Diego, CA)

"This group has been one of the most powerful things that I have done for myself perhaps my entire life.  It really hit me how amazing this has been for me, mostly because I really looked at who I was in the group." (J.P., San Diego, CA)

"I thought the group was an outstanding avenue for discovering what is behind the mask." (C.M, Escondido, CA).

"I am a 35-year veteran of workshops and seminars. After doing two eight-week sessions of Getting to What Matters, I have been very pleased with this method of discovering "self". This course has swiftly steered me to more of my personal truth, and offering new choices for direction. I highly recommend this group.  It has been a truly profound experience."  (KW, Oceanside, CA)

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